There is another edition of PhotoVaganza next Saturday, September 11. Gert, Etienne and myself will be hosting the event. If you have anything to do with model photography, feel free to join us from 10:00H to 22:00H at CC De Schrijnwerkerij in Geel.

For more info, check out PhotoVaganza’s website (Dutch).

For years I have put other people’s needs and wants before my own.  Said “YES” way more often than “NO”. Actually, I tried to help where I could, often even volunteering to help. And often at the expense of my own projects and things to do. I must admit, I get great pleasure out of doing things for others. A dinner table full of people enjoying a meal that I just cooked, is the greatest joy to me. And if you’d give me a compliment about the food, I would be smiling for a week.

I said “NO” to a Photoshop request the other day and got a few people upset. And I didn’t say “NO” bluntly: I apologized and said I didn’t want to do it because of many personal reasons. I even said I was no longer accepting these sort of request from anyone. Still that wasn’t enough, and what followed was a 30 minute discussion on way I didn’t want to do it. All the cliche arguments were there: “it only takes you 5 minutes to do it”, “you are good a Photoshop, so just do it”, “you’ve done these things before, so why not do it now?”, and many more.

I have to deal with a lot of negative replies to things I ask: colleagues that don’t have time to help me, friends not wanting to go out to a movie with me, people not replying to mails or text messages or phone calls, contractors not wanting to come and do a job even when they know they will get paid, holiday requests that are ignored. And I say “NO” to 1 little request and people get mad with me? Am I only allowed to say “YES”?

Don’t you get it? There are limits to this little boy. I can only do so much. I only wanna do so much.

But when I look at London through my own eyes, I see the strangest details.

Still, I am asking myself if this ordeal is really over, or will it start over again in a while? I’m afraid that that question is gonna stick to my mind for a long time. It is something I will have to learn to live with. Honestly, I struggle with the fact that I still don’t have a clue of who was/is harassing me. I would have like to see him/her be brought to justice. Not for revenge, but to find closure for myself.

Here’s a couple of shots from last week’s shoot with Eva. She was kind enough to step in at the last minute. So thank you very much Eva! And of course a big thank you to my sweet little sis Mariana for doin’ the make up and turning this beautiful girl into an even more beautiful girl.

And then of course, I am still uncertain if this will ever stop. I mean, even if it would stop now, it could start all over again in a couple of months or years.l

Filing a complaint with the police surely was a big step forward. I should have done that a lot sooner. I must say that local police has been very helpful. They took my complaint very serious. I was actually a bit surprised about that. But of course, all of it takes time and still the outcome of their investigation is uncertain. And to be honest, I have run out of patience. I want the matter resolved today!

I am just tired of answering the same questions over and over again. I really don’t know who is bugging me. I don’t even have a clue. I don’t even wanna try and take a wild guess. I’ve asked myself the same questions too and I have not found any answers. I don’t wanna try to get in somebody else’s head and guess what they are thinking. All I can do, is ask some of the same questions and hope there is someone out there that can provide answers. And other than that: I’m trying keep my head clear of those questions. I am fighting a loosing battle…